Hello again!

It will be four months tomorrow since I updated last. How quickly time flies. And how quickly weight goes on. As you all know, I left F.A. last February; I've tried to go back a few times, but without much success. That program, as wonderful as it can be, is just not for me. I'm trying to get my food in order, but that's much easier said than done. I would love to give up flour and sugar. I realize those processed foods hold zero nutritional value for my body. I start off great everyday. I have a wholesome breakfast, a usually OK lunch (a large salad, some protein, maybe a little too much fruit, and an unplanned carbohydrate), but by the time dinner comes around I'm so mentally exhausted from trying to avoid the food I crave that I just cave completely (a.k.a. I binge).
I've been thinking that maybe I'm trying to tackle too much at once. Maybe I need to set smaller goals for myself. Instead of telling myself, "You'll get it right today," I should say, "My goal today is..." My food journal, much like this blog, has gone to the wayside. Planning my meals in advance has always been helpful. Perhaps I'll post those here. I think I tried that once before, but I'll try it again. I'd like to update this more regularly. Posting my daily food here would give me cause to sign-on to Blogger.
As hard as it is to admit, I think I need to post my numbers here. When I left F.A. in February I was around 176 pounds. Today I'm hovering around 190 pounds. I can't believe I've put that much back on, and in no time at all. It's like every part of my body is a representation of the weight gain. Before I started working at Migis, I had a pretty solid workout routine. I had been working on strengthening my core and toning. It seems like everything is like play-dough. That's cute.
Goals for this week:
1) Determine food for following day; post it here.
2) Decrease fruit to 1 piece a day. (I know this probably sounds strange, but fruit has become a "trigger" for me).
3) Do an ab workout in the evening and stretch before bed.
 There's no reason why I should be able to accomplish these three simple tasks each day, for at least one week.
On the brighter side, Sam proposed in May. We're getting married! If our wedding doesn't motivated me, I don't know what will. I already have my dress. It's a size 12, but the bridal store said they can take it in to a size 8. When I started to lose weight, I wanted to end at 160 pounds (so an even 100 pounds lost) and to be a size 8 pants. This is still my goal.
I start student teaching this week. I'm beyond nervous for that. Knowing myself, I'm not surprised I've been over-eating lately. I'm a stress/emotional eater. I guess realizing is a step in the right direction. I know I'm discouraged right now, and I'm upset with myself for letting my control go, but there's no way in hell I'll go back to where I came from. I can't allow myself to forget how for I've come.
I just need to remember to do the next right thing.  

Tomorrow's food:
Breakfast:
1/2 cup (dry) oatmeal (150 calories)
1 banana               (110 calories)
2 eggs                   (140 calories)

Lunch:
1 slice swiss cheese           (106 calories)
1 slice turkey meat (deli)   (45 calories)
8oz salad                            (40 calories)
1 tbs salad dressing            (25 calories)

Dinner: 
8 oz salad                                                                                   (40 calories)
4oz shrimp (grilled)                                                                   (120 calories)
2 tbs dressing                                                                             (140 calories)
6 oz sauteed vegetables (bell peppers, mushrooms, onions)     (60 calories)

Total Calories: 976 calories