I'll start from the beginning, as that is probably the most logical.
7:57PM - It's a slow night at work, so my boss asks if I'd like to head out early.
7:59PM - As Josh, the bartender, to please mix me a drink. (He makes the best drinks, so I always allow him to decide what to make me. With that being said, I couldn't tell you what went into that first drink.)
From here I loose track of time because it's a booze and food blur. I order a veggie burger (locally made in Portland, Maine - delicious!) with curly fries. Sam and I shared the fries. Billy, my co-worker, makes me another drink, three-quarters liquor with a splash of pineapple and cranberry juice.
Sam and I head to Wicked Gelato where we share a heaping small of chocolate peanut butter gelato and cookies and caramel (or something) gelato. I ask, "Can we go get drinks at The Roost?" Walk to The Roost. "I left my I.D. in the car." Too lazy to walk back to the car and then back to the bar again. We go back to our apartment where I devour the following:
homemade popcorn
3 Girl Scout cookies (I didn't even know we had those in the pantry)
8 or 9 chocolate-covered graham crackers
3 handfuls of whole-wheat cheddar goldfish
Dirty Shirley (vodka, grenadine, Sprite and cherries)
It's 4:35 in the morning and I simply can't sleep. My heart rate has finally come down (whatever that was about), my head is pounding and I can't quench my thirst.
Obviously things haven't been going very well since I left F.A. (perhaps you remember my earlier flour-and-sugar-free posts). I haven't lost any more weight. In fact I've been fluctuating between 179 and 186 pounds. My goal weight is 160-65 pounds. I'm not going to get there with flour and sugar. So I'm going back to those days. For now, if I can help it, I'm going to have a go at a sugar and flour free life on my own. But I won't be surprised if I find myself back at F.A. meetings, even though they often make me miserable. But I'll take it because I'm not happy being fat.
Here's what I'm eating today, for a total of 1,232 calories:
Breakfast:
8 ounces non-fat, plain Greek yogurt
1-ounce bran flakes
6 ounces frozen blueberries
½ cup almond milk
Lunch:
8 ounces salad
1 tablespoon dressing
6 ounces cooked vegetable
2 eggs (hard-boiled)
¼ cup quinoa
1 grapefruit
Dinner:
8 ounces salad
2 tablespoons Gorgonzola dressing
2 ounces black beans, 2 ounces chickpeas
6 ounces cooked vegetable
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