Weight loss is as much mental as it is physical. These past few weeks have proven this to be incredibly true. I'm currently holding out at 179 pounds, although my bathroom scale has informed me that my body fat percentage has gone down by about .8%; small victories. I feel like my body is taking on another shape. Like, maybe about seven and a half months, it's taking sometime to figure out where 81 pounds has gone to and what to do with the remaining self. I just need it to stop rearranging primarily near my butt.
Last night I received a phone call from a friend who recently moved to Florida for a few months. She's struggled with body image in her own way, so it was wonderful to confide with someone who understands the mental tug-of-wars that weight causes. I fight with myself almost constantly. Keeping myself distracted is such a task. I'm constantly checking my "Calorie Counter" account. My food journal is never far from reach. Walking past a mirror or window used to be exciting; these past two weeks have turned that experience into something a little more anxiety inducing.
You know, this weekend is the Superbowl. I'm looking forward to it since Sam and I will be heading to Augusta to watch it with his family's friend, Ray (I hear he makes a killer best mai tai). Here again I'm thinking about food. We're leaving Saturday night or Sunday morning for Winthrop, going to Augusta and staying over in Winthrop Sunday night. Should I pack my food with me? I've been packing my meals since June of 2011. Whenever I go on an overnight somewhere, I write down my food before hand so there are no surprises. Honestly, it's peace of mind. But at the same time it's tiring. I just want to get in the car and go somewhere without having to think about what am I going to eat, how much and when? Also, the thought of eating something without measuring it before hand freaks me right out! How do you "normal" people do it without weighing 600 pounds? Teach me.
My biggest struggle? Snacks.
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