First, I'll apologize for my lack of posting over the course of this month. I actually think my last post was in November. I had started a couple of new entries, but nothing super interesting or engaging so I ditched them a while back.
OK, so I was just puttering around on Facebook when I came across a status update that read: "We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are." This is a quote from my favorite comic duo, Calvin and Hobbes.
Lately, I've been feeling under the weather and anxious. It appears as though a lot has been thrown my way since the beginning of winter break. But I think the thing that weighs on my mind the most has been my weight loss journey. The "loss" part of it being nearly over (another twenty-one pounds to go). I openly admit that I'm nervous for what comes after the scale reads 160lbs. Then what? In truth, I do know the answer to the question I'm posing: I will continue on with my program.
The wonderful part of F.A. is the fact that it offers its members a maintenance plan. I'll continue to work with my sponsor and keep track of my food intake. The only noticeable difference will be I'll get more food! I have to say I'm mighty exited for that part. When I first started program back in June, I felt like I was being deprived of food. After a few months, eating all of the food I was given seemed like a daunting task: "You want me to eat all of this?" Now I'm nearly always hungry, which tends to complicate things. Since I never truly feel full (maybe only directly after a meal) I'm always fighting off food thoughts. I have a mental countdown until my next meal time (usually four to six hours).
Speaking of food thoughts, I'd just like to briefly vent about Christmas and this holiday season. It's interesting being on the other side this year. What I mean is, I wasn't face-first into any treats, sweets, plates and bowls. I was never bloated, groaning "I ate too much" and wishing I hadn't. I ate my meals and that was that. But my God! It was hard! It literally felt like there was food surrounding me at any given moment, food I would have loved to shove into my mouth (even fruitcake)! Despite my attempts at explaining to many people, even my own family, that I can't eat that because it has flour and sugar in it, I was still being offered plates of holiday goodies. "No, I don't drink wine," "No, I don't want any ice cream with the pie that I'm not eating," "Seriously, I've had my dinner. I'm OK." By the end of December 25th, I was mentally zapped and totally emotionally exhausted. Ever since then I've been grumpy. Well, not all the time. I've been kind of up and down which is terribly frustrating.
I'm not sure where exactly I'm headed with this post, but let me say this: during the holiday season people continue to shout, "Christmas is about Christ, not gifts," and "This is not another Hallmark holiday," etc. CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT THE FOOD, EITHER. I just needed to say it. My Facebook wall was line after line of holiday baking to-do's and delicious whatevers.
I'm thrilled beyond belief to not have to be one of the many Americans who will start a new diet on January 1st after binging uncomfortable amounts over the past few months. I'm no longer in the food and am into tiny pants. OK, maybe not tiny, but we're getting there.
If you are one of many who is planning on starting a new diet after the New Year, consider attending an F.A. meeting or public information session (contact me for more information). F.A. is not a diet. It's a lifestyle change. If you're truly a food addict, a diet is not the solution. The food will be waiting for you once you've "reached goal."
